Dearest Journal

The saddening environment of the hospital is always distinguished when I meet patients close to my age, those with parts of me that flicker into visible light as I talk to them, like the many facets of a prism as it turns in the sun. I don't want to think I could be in their shoes. Ever. Anyone in such a situation is horrible to imagine, but it always hits home with these ones. And this is when I'm reminded of why I want to put myself through a hard ordeal of tests and applications of myself among the cream of the cream of the crop--because I want to be an enabler. It's cheezy, but isn't it interesting to think about, especially in a world where we seem to find countless inhibitors? Aren't we always mantra-ing to "never give up" and "keep going strong"? Why, well, we do that because life is hard. For once, I want that one college student to have a choice to continue their education and not sit in the oncology room with a tube dripping poison into their body.